Food Allergy Mom Tips

My daughter has a food allergy.  It took almost 2 long, miserable years to find this out.  We'll save that story for another day.  For today, here are a few tips for food allergy moms.

1. You are you child's advocate.  Be proactive.
This is the most important thing.  Your child does not drive and likely does not plan their own social calendar, so when you are making dinner reservations or booking a transatlantic flight, be sure to consider your child's needs.  Think in advance about where you are going and what food you might encounter there.  Call ahead and ask about the allergy menu or alternative meals.   Be willing to change plans for your child.

2. Assume nothing!
You would be surprised where allergens pop up.  Read the labels.  "I don't think this contains allergen" from a confused looking waiter or well meaning friend is not reliable information.  Do not feel bad asking for the package and/or not letting your child eat it.  Better safe than sorry.
Example: Carmel apples contain milk protein.  There is whey in the caramel.

3. Educate yourself.
Learn to explain the difference between a food allergy and a food intolerance.  Don't feel bad about educating people who want to criticize you, your child, or your parenting.  Lactose intolerance is a body's inability to process a sugar due to lack of an enzyme.  It is not the same thing as a non-IgE milk protein allergy.

4. Carry snacks.  
Since food opportunities will pop up unexpectedly, make sure you have something your child can eat with you.  Keep something non-perishable (dried fruit is great) in your purse/car that you child loves to offer when that unplanned treat stop does not include food that your child can eat.  If your sister suddenly decided to pull in to a frozen yogurt shop on the way home from the zoo, but they don't have vegan yogurt, break out the dried strawberries!

5.  Skip "Kid's Meals."
Many restaurants offer great, healthy options that are allergen free, but only for adults.  Don't be afraid to order them for your child.  Many places will let you substitute them into a kids meal for no charge. If not, just pay for it - your kid is worth it.

6.  Find cupcakes.
Since most children regularly attend birthday parties, you will need an alternative to the usual cupcakes/cakes/cookies served.  Locate a local bakery that allows you to purchase 1 allergen free cupcake as needed.  Before each party, contact the party mom and ask about the flavor/color of the cupcake or treat being served.  Explain your child's food allergy and that you will provide their treat.  This step saves you from their inquiring glare on party day when you do not feed your child their likely-expensive special goodie. Contact your bakery and have a suitable replacement created.  Bring it to the party and discreetly replace your child's dessert at the appropriate time.  Some party moms will be super cool about this, some are not, but do what's right for your child.
Note: I had one awesome mom friend who actually bought a dairy-free cupcake especially for my daughter and showed it to me before the party to confirm that she could eat it.

7. Teach your child to speak for him/herself.
No matter your child's age, he/she knows what's going on.  Make him a part of the solution.  It will reduce his frustration with not being able to eat foods to which he is allergic.  Empower him to make food choices that are safe and yummy.  My 2 year old daughter told a preschool substitute teacher that "I can't eat goldfish because I'm dairy free."

8.  Eat the allergen in front of your child.
Don't live in an allergen free bubble.  Your child will see other people eating it.  Make that normal and ok.  This is preferable to your child finding you hiding in the pantry sneaking a bite of a particular food. Explain that the food makes their tummy hurt, but that it is ok for other people to eat it.  Offer them a delicious alternative then have a snack together.

9.  If it happens, don't panic.
If your child's allergy produces an anaphylactic reaction, then please call 911 and use the EpiPen.  Panic will still not help in this situation.  Deal with the reaction and move on.  Note what caused it and be more careful.  You may learn the hard way, but you will learn.

10. Hope they grow out of it.
While this is unlikely in many cases, it's ok to hope.  And don't feel guilty about it.  Having a food allergy is stressful for you, and your child, and that's ok too.  You can work together to make it as manageable as possible without letting it put a damper on fun times!