Tonight's rambling parenting musing:
I'm the mom who buys the 'teacher experiences' at the school PTA auction. My oldest got to see a movie with her teacher and is going to the movies with the music teacher. My middle child did a painting class with her teacher and has an outing for snacks with the nurse in January. For my son I bought the 'teacher for the day' and the pj movie party packages with his teacher.
On a sidenote, I don't do fundraisers. No I won't buy raffle tickets, sponsor a lap in the walk/run/hop/etc - a-thon, or bring in coins, and we refuse to sell anything to our friends and family. I will not turn my kids into walking dollar-generators. However, I'm a sucker for the book fair and I'll pay for free stuff that makes my life a lot easier (like a reserved parking spot at the school talent show). So 100% of my financial support to the school is in the form of experiences.
So tonight I was telling the kids that tomorrow my son will be staying after school for his pajama party. He's taking his super cool shark tail and his new fire truck pajamas and will be watching Charlie Brown Christmas with his amazing teacher. They were all excited for him.
Later, my oldest pulled me aside and quietly asked me, "Are you doing anything special with your teacher?" Hmmm? I asked her to clarify and she said, "You know, the ones who teach you to be a Magic judge."
What a thought provoking question. My eight-year-old is such a sweet little lady and I love how she always thinks of others. She saw that I had invested in those experiences because I know that teaching and learning is based on a relationship between people. It's much more than just a transfer of knowledge. The best teachers impart wisdom and character in addition to rules and facts.
I've been privileged to have many great teachers in my life including my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins in my early life and the many teachers, coaches, professors, and advisors in formal education. As a teacher I had incredible co-workers, principals, and especially students who taught me so much. In each job, role, or position I've held in my life, the guidance of others has offered me perspectives and insights that have shaped the person I am today.
So to my teachers as a Magic judge: thank you. I appreciate the time and effort you have invested in training me. The mentoring and feedback have expanded my skillset tremendously far beyond just the rules of Magic. I've learned so much about leadership, management, motivation, feedback, trust, integrity, and forgiveness. Whether you are a judge, a former judge, an L0, 1, 2 , or 3, a player, a scorekeeper, a friend, or some combination of those things, you have made a difference in my life. You're awesome and amazing and I appreciate you.
Oh, and if anyone wants to see a movie, go to a painting class, do an escape room, share a meal, or have any other sort of cheesy bonding experience . . . I'm in!
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Wednesday, December 4, 2019
To the mom . . .
To the mom who talked to me tonight: THANK YOU.
As I walked into gymnastics, I vaguely recognized you, but I couldn’t place you until I saw your twin sons. Then it hit me - they’re in my son’s class at school. I started to hide, to cover my face, to look away, to leave. You wouldn’t want to talk to me - I’m the mother of that kid.
You greeted me warmly and asked how I was doing. We walked towards the bleachers where we sit to watch our kids. You took the seat right beside me. You asked me how I do it. It was all I could do not to cry and tackle you with a hug right there on the spot. You didn’t mince words or pretend everything was normal. You went right to the heart of what we have in common - little boys who struggle in a big classroom. You said that you admired me and understood that the negativity is rough. We chatted about our interactions with the teacher, our concerns for our sons, and ideas to try. We pointed out our daughters to each other and talked about crazy schedules and being moms of three. We compared jobs and shared laughs. Te mom next to us joined in our talk of sending two snacks to school for hungry little guys. Not once did you belittle me for having a son who has poor impulse control. You understood that he’s the youngest in the class (11.5 months younger than yours in fact). You were honest, even mentioning that your sons talk about mine at home and empathize with his struggles.
We had such a normal parenting conversation - a rarity for me where my son is concerned. That judgment free hour was one of the best I’ve had in a long time. You showed me that there is hope in the world and a light in the future. You made me feel alive and rich in community. For one short hour I was in a judgment free zone where struggles were accepted and shared and support was offered. A true community. Thank you.
When I go out into the world tomorrow and every day, I hope to remember this lesson, and judge less and support more. Thank you for making me a better person.
As I walked into gymnastics, I vaguely recognized you, but I couldn’t place you until I saw your twin sons. Then it hit me - they’re in my son’s class at school. I started to hide, to cover my face, to look away, to leave. You wouldn’t want to talk to me - I’m the mother of that kid.
You greeted me warmly and asked how I was doing. We walked towards the bleachers where we sit to watch our kids. You took the seat right beside me. You asked me how I do it. It was all I could do not to cry and tackle you with a hug right there on the spot. You didn’t mince words or pretend everything was normal. You went right to the heart of what we have in common - little boys who struggle in a big classroom. You said that you admired me and understood that the negativity is rough. We chatted about our interactions with the teacher, our concerns for our sons, and ideas to try. We pointed out our daughters to each other and talked about crazy schedules and being moms of three. We compared jobs and shared laughs. Te mom next to us joined in our talk of sending two snacks to school for hungry little guys. Not once did you belittle me for having a son who has poor impulse control. You understood that he’s the youngest in the class (11.5 months younger than yours in fact). You were honest, even mentioning that your sons talk about mine at home and empathize with his struggles.
We had such a normal parenting conversation - a rarity for me where my son is concerned. That judgment free hour was one of the best I’ve had in a long time. You showed me that there is hope in the world and a light in the future. You made me feel alive and rich in community. For one short hour I was in a judgment free zone where struggles were accepted and shared and support was offered. A true community. Thank you.
When I go out into the world tomorrow and every day, I hope to remember this lesson, and judge less and support more. Thank you for making me a better person.
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