To the mom . . .

To the mom who talked to me tonight: THANK YOU.

As I walked into gymnastics, I vaguely recognized you, but I couldn’t place you until I saw your twin sons. Then it hit me - they’re in my son’s class at school. I started to hide, to cover my face, to look away, to leave. You wouldn’t want to talk to me - I’m the mother of that kid.

You greeted me warmly and asked how I was doing. We walked towards the bleachers where we sit to watch our kids. You took the seat right beside me. You asked me how I do it. It was all I could do not to cry and tackle you with a hug right there on the spot. You didn’t mince words or pretend everything was normal. You went right to the heart of what we have in common - little boys who struggle in a big classroom. You said that you admired me and understood that the negativity is rough. We chatted about our interactions with the teacher, our concerns for our sons, and ideas to try. We pointed out our daughters to each other and talked about crazy schedules and being moms of three. We compared jobs and shared laughs. Te mom next to us joined in our talk of sending two snacks to school for hungry little guys. Not once did you belittle me for having a son who has poor impulse control. You understood that he’s the youngest in the class (11.5 months younger than yours in fact). You were honest, even mentioning that your sons talk about mine at home and empathize with his struggles.

We had such a normal parenting conversation - a rarity for me where my son is concerned. That judgment free hour was one of the best I’ve had in a long time. You showed me that there is hope in the world and a light in the future. You made me feel alive and rich in community. For one short hour I was in a judgment free zone where struggles were accepted and shared and support was offered. A true community. Thank you.

When I go out into the world tomorrow and every day, I hope to remember this lesson, and judge less and support more. Thank you for making me a better person.