First Flight

 The tears hit me out of nowhere. Unexpected. Raw. And real. As I walked through the airport corridor, my daughter bouncing at my side, I felt like something was missing. Something precious I could never get back.

We had just dropped her sister off for a flight to Space Camp. SPACE CAMP. Every child's dream! I vividly remembered my own experiences from thirty years before. I still have my mission patch and pin and flight notebook. I cherish them memories of not just the fun and the friends, the simulators and the missions, but the feeling of independence at spending a week away from my family. Space Camp nurtured my need for knowledge both of astronaut life and of myself. 

My parents wouldn't let me fly to Space Camp alone. They flew to Florida and took my sisters to Disney while they waited for me. I was embarrassed that they felt the need to do that and wished that they had just stayed at home and let me go on my own. (I much preferred Space Camp over Disney and was glad to skip that vacation actually!) I desperately craved the opportunity to develop a sense of self, to be on my own, and to have the opportunity to make real, meaningful choices. My overcautious parents robbed me of that by arranging every mundane detail and overseeing every tidbit.

My older daughter is mature and independent. I have no doubt that given a credit card and a cell phone she could book her own flights, arrange transfers, handle delays, and probably stop at Starbucks on the way without any adult help at all. However, the airline had other plans and required me to sign forms, walk her to the gate, and wait until she took off. She suffered the indignity of having to wear an 'unattended minor' wristband and was polite to the airline staff despite them being completely unnecessary. I knew that once she tolerated their policies, she'd be off on her own in no time.

At the gate she met some other campers and the trio of them boarded the plane happily when their group was called. She walked onto the plane without even looking back. 

I'm proud of her and excited for her (and maybe a little bit jealous too!). I hope this week is a joyful experience of self-discovery in a new environment as she learns to step out into the world and take on new adventures alone. We have talked a lot about good decisions, consequences, personal behavior, etc. Too much in her opinion, I'm sure. But, I've raised her well and I'm confident that she's ready. 

I can't wait to hear all about her adventures when she gets home, and we'll be traveling together next week. So for this week, I'll sit at home, dry my tears, enjoy my other kids, and hope she texts me when the plane lands.