How to shower when you have a baby:
Close all doors to lock baby in bathroom. Try to ignore sweltering humidity.
Place large pile of baby toys on rug. Hide trash can.
Baby ignores toys, cries for trash can. Compromise and give baby empty shampoo bottle.
Attempt to shower while baby bangs bottle on shower door. Wonder if door is made of bulletproof glass.
Wash hair. Wonder why banging stopped.
Turn off water. Realize that to exit shower you must awaken and relocate baby sleeping on rug against shower door.
Debate staying in shower to keep baby asleep. Why is it suddenly so cold in here when the water is off?
Finally get out of shower and have legs hugged by baby. Dry off drippy baby.
Attempt to dress while holding hands with clingy baby. Give in and hand over pacifier.
Oh well, at least I smell better.
Originally published on Facebook on June 11, 2012.
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